NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONSMaking an important resolution this year? Often we see processes that reflect the diagram and they are important.
However sometimes insufficient emphasis is placed on the first step which is setting the goal. For goal setting to be effective it needs to be done in a way that connects with all of our being. Thinking about what we want and analysing that is valuable AND we need to feel it emotionally & spiritually as well.
If we can connect our resolutions with something that is truly important to our being, achieving it becomes relatively effortless.
Have you ever felt completely congruent about something? Having your behaviours, beliefs, and identity all fully aligned feels great, doesn’t it? How about the other way around? Have you ever felt incongruent about something, but in a way that you can’t quite pinpoint? Is it sometimes like you are doing all the right things, but not moving anywhere? Or maybe you know what to do, but you just can’t get yourself to do it.
So getting clarity about your goal and connecting it with your identity is the most powerful way I know of making resolutions happen
A couple of year ago I had allowed myself to become significantly overweight, showing signs of classic middle age spread. At the same time I was sharing with friends my aspiration to still be Scuba Diving on my 100th birthday, by inviting them to join me for the party.
A conversation with my Doctor brought to my attention the mismatch between my (then) current state – she advised me that my excessive weight was my greatest risk factor for achieving the longevity to which I aspired – and the achievement of that aspiration.
Well I haven’t gone Scuba Diving on my 100th birthday yet, still got quite a few years to go for that, but I have lost 25kg and I did it in 8 months with relatively little effort. Other that frequently reminding myself of the end goal.
I had changed my BEHAVIOUR (diet & exercise) with relatively little effort by BELIEVING I was CAPABLE and focussing on my IDENTITY (a mentally & physically healthy being capable of still Scuba Diving at 100 years of age.)
Here are some further ideas that may support you to keep your resolutions and reach your goals:
Knowing what you want, why you want it, and what you need to do to succeed is essential for sustained effort. Knowing how that connects with your IDENTITY is critical
“The reason most people never reach their goals is that they don’t define them, or ever seriously consider them as believable or achievable. Winners can tell you where they are going, what they plan to do along the way, and who will be sharing the adventure with them.” —Denis Waitley
- What do I want?
- Be specific,
- make sure it is phrased positively, and
- the outcome is within your control to achieve
- What will I accept as evidence that I have achieved my outcome?
- What will I see, hear, feel, smell and /or taste
- what will it bring me?
- How will it serve me?
- Are the costs and consequences of obtaining this outcome acceptable?
- What are the resources & effort required
- When, where and with whom do I want this
- What internal resources do I have and what do I need to achieve my outcome?
- If I could have it now, would I take it?
- What are the first three actions steps I need to take to make this happen?
- Imagine a future scenario where I could apply these desired outcomes and test whether they would work in that situation.
“The whole secret of a successful life is to find out what is one’s destiny to do, and then do it.” —Henry Ford
Belief:Ask yourself on a scale of 1 – 10, “how much do I believe this is possible?” If your answer is below 10 , then ask your self “what do I need to do or be differently so that it is 10?” It may mean altering your goal or redefining what it is that you really want. Even if you have no idea HOW it is going to happen, you must believe that it CAN happen.
“To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream, not only plan, but also believe.” —Anatole France
Patience:We don’t always achieve our goals at first attempt and it can take longer that we had envisaged
“Success is walking from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.” —Winston Churchill
Courage:Courage to go one hour longer than you ever thought you could in abstaining from something you desire, courage to be vulnerable, to take risks, to be unpopular, courage comes in many forms. Having courage, while also having patience, is even more challenging. Yet, the two must go together.
“Only put off until tomorrow what you are willing to die having left undone.” —Pablo Picasso
Forgiveness:An ancient proverb teaches “Seven times I may fall, but eight times I will rise again.” Falling is not failure. It is an important part of any challenging process. What we do when we fall is what matters. When you fall choose to pick yourself up compassionately. Acknowledge yourself for your efforts and for being human. Be gentle. Take the time to make observations on what caused the fall. Use this knowledge to make new decisions to become stronger and more capable as you rise.
“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” —Thomas A. Edison
Presence:Being focused on where we want to end up makes it difficult to be present along the way. We forget how important it is to be grounded in where we are. Presence is essential to success because it allows us to be aware of what is happening and how it is aligned with our goal. As we have been told many times, it isn’t so much the destination but the journey that is the prize. Neglecting to engage in the process cheats you out of the fulfilment of being a part of your own amazing journey.
“Without the presence of the Spirit, it is impossible to comprehend our personal mission or to have the reassurance that our course is right.” —Sheri L. Dew
Compassion:The BEST part of digging deep to reach a goal is the way your heart opens up to others through the experience. Whether their paths are similar to yours or not, you know the strength it takes to simply be human. This creates connections between yourself and all of humanity. As your proclivity toward compassion grows, the ways that you are able to enjoy the world around you multiplies exponentially.
“Success is … knowing your purpose in life, growing to reach your maximum potential, and sowing seeds that benefit others.” —John C. Maxwell
Based on an International Coach Federation Blog by Regina Hellinger 18 Jan 2013